Just for Giggles #1- How to read like a Mum.

Reading can happen anywhere at all. We have probably all read in the bath or on a bus. But what makes that perfect reading environment? 
Here are my top 5 steps to finding that perfect moment of reading bliss. If you are not a Mum you can usually pick up a child just by asking on Facebook if anybody needs a sitter. Please note that children usually behave better for a sitter than their own parents therefore your experience of this activity might differ from that of real Mums.
1. Choose the right time.
The best time is around midday on a Saturday when your child is at full energy, the cat is ready to play and the neighbours are having a barbecue/argument over who forgot to take the trash out. Adding a partner or husband who has decided to change the line on his fishing rod and is swinging it around the room is optional, but recommended.
2. Add some background noise.
This step is quite personal. I like to put on some music or the television in an attempt to drown out the noise of the child and neighbours. Sometimes I will choose an obnoxious children’s show to distract the child. This inevitably leads to the addition of her singing along to every theme tune.
3. Choose a comfortable place. 
I like to sit on the sofa with the cat’s claws attached to my thigh. Sometimes I like to throw a little clutter and mess around the room so that I feel like I am on an episode of Hoarders. Another favourite of mine is to sit with the sunlight from the window in my eyes. 
4. Get your tools ready. 
You are obviously going to need your book. Other optional tools is a mug of cold coffee, a slice of cold toast that has been sat there since breakfast whilst you tried to entertain the little one and your phone/pc to access twitter ten times a page in case you missed something. 
5. Settle down and read. 
One word per hour is a pretty good pace and you are doing particularly well if you read the same paragraph multiple times instead of moving on from it. If you get to the end of a page at any time you need to slow yourself down by refreshing twitter, checking Facebook or staring blankly at the television. 
There you go. You are now reading like a Mum. Well done. 

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